Q: What will a filtering plan do for me?
A: Several things. First of all, it lets you block your correspondent on your phone and social media, while ensuring that you still get the important messages you need from them. Second, it allows you to bounce all their email to us, so that you don't even see it in your inbox. We will go through their emails, take out the harassing and combative content that you don't need to see, only passing on important information and peaceable communication. Third, it slows down and concentrates the communication so you can go about your activities in peace, without being repeatedly interrupted by combative messages.
Q: I really want to do this, but my co-parent will never consent to it. Am I out of luck?
A: No. You don't need your co-parent's consent. As soon as somebody sends you a message, it becomes yours, and you are free to do with it what you want, including hiring somebody else to screen and filter it for you. It's important to let your co-parent know, before you block them, that you will no longer be available by phone, text or social media, but they can reach you by email. We also recommend letting them know that you've hired us to help you manage your communication and there may be a delay in responding to their messages. But this is only a courtesy to help reduce frustration on their end. And you don't need to worry about their reaction; if they get mad about it, we're the ones who will hear about it, not you. And we're here to make sure you still get the important information about the kids or other issues you need to hear about.
Q: What if there's an emergency and they need to get ahold of me right away?
A: When you notify your co-parent that you will no longer be available by phone, text or social media, you should give them an emergency-only number they can call to get an urgent message to you. This could belong to a trusted friend or family member.
Q: What if I can't block my co-parent from my phone, because that's how they communicate with our child?
A: You can set your child up with their own kid-friendly messaging app, like Messenger Kids, JusTalk Kids, KidsEmail, FamilyApp, or Fennec. That way, your kids can safely message and/or talk face to face with their other parent, without being vulnerable to messages from strangers, and without those calls needing to go through you.
Q: How will I know when it's safe to unsubscribe from filtering?
A: Our service is designed not only to filter out unproductive communication but also to help you and your co-parent transform the relationship so that the filter becomes unnecessary. To help you decide whether the filter is still needed, we'll label every email we forward from your correspondent as "Sent As Is" or "Edited". We may also offer a coaching package, one-on-one coaching, a blog, and courses which you can access if you would like additional help to transform your side of the relationship and/or to strengthen your resiliency toward combative messages. When you start to feel ready, we suggest switching your subscription to just coaching. Then you can try your hand at managing the combative messages that come through while maintaining ready access to help when you need it. Then, when you find you've transformed the relationship or that you can cheerfully deal with whatever your co-parent throws at you, you'll know you're ready to unsubscribe. At that point, please check our Careers section, in case we're hiring.
Q: What if my co-parent sends an email where they threaten to hurt me? Will you just filter that out?
A: Illegal threats will be forwarded directly to the police and we will advise you of the situation.
Q: What if my lawyer needs a copy of some recent harassing emails, but all I have are filtered ones?
A: We can forward all the original emails to your lawyer, or we can find specific ones for a reasonable fee.